Nearly six months after the death ofSean “Diddy” Combs‘ exKim Porter, the music mogul is opening up about her presence in his life even after her passing.
In the May issue ofEssence, Combs, 49, reveals what Porter told him before she died and how that defined his reaction.
“Three days before she passed, she wasn’t feeling well,” Combs explains. “She had the flu, and she sent the kids over to my house so they wouldn’t get sick.”
“One night I was checking on her, and she was like, ‘Puffy, take care of my babies.’ She actually said that to me before she died.”
Combs says those words stuck with him on the morning of Nov. 15 after news broke that Porter had beenfound deadat her home in Toluca Lake, California.
“I jumped into mommy mode,” Combs tellsEssence. “I sent people in every direction to try to make sure the kids would not hear about it on social media or the news.”
Combs and Porter shared three kids together — son Christian, 21, and twin daughters Jessie James, 12, and D’Lila, 12. Combs also helped raise Porter’s sonQuincy, 27, from a previous relationship.
Combs is also father to son Justin, 25, and daughter Chance, 13, from previous relationships.
“I had to get to the girls’ school and find Quincy, who was on set in Atlanta. Christian was on a plane, and I had his phone disconnected so he wouldn’t read it in the air,” Combs explains to the outlet.
Sean “Diddy” Combs and his kids.Dana Scruggs
“Every time Kim and I talked, it was about the kids. We’d check in as friends, of course, but we never had a conversation that didn’t include the kids. It was on some superhero s—. I ain’t even gonna lie. On some level, I knew she was training me for this. I knew that I had to be ready to do whatever I was supposed to do if something like this ever happened.”
Combs says “there was screaming and crying” when he heard the news, but that’s when he thought of Porter’s last few words.
“I was crying out to God — and to her — and almost immediately Kim’s voice kicked in, and I could hear her saying, ‘Make sure you take care of my babies,'” Combs tellsEssence.
Since her death, Combs says he’s a lot more involved with his family because he knows that’s something Porter would want.
Sean “Diddy” Combs with daughters Chance, Jessie James and D’Lila.Dana Scruggs
“Before this, I was a part-time father, you know? My family was always first, but there are countless times when I chose work over everything else. But every day I can hear her telling me to go and spend some time with the kids and make sure everybody’s all right, like she would do. I’m just a lot more present, and, most important, now my kids come before anything else in my life.”
Though their grief will never go away, Combs says the family is doing “really well.”
“We have a great family … the way we’re handling it together. From Sarah [Chapman, Chance’s mom] to Misa [Hylton-Brim, Justin’s mother] to all of Kim’s friends, the grandparents — it takes a village,” Combs tells the magazine.
“We’re doing really because her passing has changed us and made us love each other more. I’m happy to say that, because at first I really didn’t know how we’d be doing.”
“Because of Kim we’re doing this well, because of the way she loved us,” Combs adds.
Porterdied of lobar pneumonia, the Los Angeles County Department of Medical Examiner-Coroner announced in January. Porter had been suffering from flu-like symptoms for days at the time of her death.
Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic
Insiders previously told PEOPLE that Combs held a memorial for Porter on Nov. 18 at his home in Bel Air, California. Among the 100 guests present wereKim Kardashian,Mary J. Blige,French MontanaandKourtney Kardashian.
The couple, who began dating in the ’90s, broke up in 1999 and battled in court over child support for Christian; Combs also datedJennifer Lopezfor two years before he and Porter reconciled in 2003. They split for the final time in 2007.
Last month, Combsshared a sweet memoryhe shared with Porter on Instagram.
“I remember Kim flying to see me on the set of can’t nobody hold me down. She took like a 12 hour flight to LA and 3 hour ride to the desert,” Combs captioned a throwback photo of himself posing with Porter in his arms as the two stood before a white Rolls Royce.
“Was always ride or die. From day 1! I called her BONNIE AND I WAS CLYDE! This picture will go down in history as the first time I said she was MINE.”
source: people.com
