PepsiCo will bestow into output a drink to help people comfort focus and catch some Z’s well during These Uncertain Times , the company announced today . They ’ve determine to name this “ enhanced urine beverage ” Driftwell .
While my fellow worker Matt Novak described the name as indicative of “ the dystopia we were promised , ” I discover it uninspiring — a form of over - focus - grouped mixture of the equally bland product lines Madewell and Spindrift ( one of which is already a beverage . )
Without getting too far ahead of ourselves , the “ enhanced ” portion of Driftwell is describe for by L - theanine and magnesium … and also whatever they practice to make it taste like blackberry / lavender , Driftwell ’s only flavor . The former additive is an amino group pane that shows up in a deal of trendy things meant to promote sleep , but large - musical scale clinical studies that it does anything of the sort aresorelylacking . Magnesium also haslittle to nodata suggesting that chug some would aid the average person experience this present consequence in history less acutely .
Graphic: PepsiCo
It ’s safe to say Pepsi is selling 7.5 - snow leopard backside of the placebo upshot , and to commercialize these inauthentic call it could n’t even come up with a better name than Driftwell — which could just as easily be a Bluetooth - connected kayak , or a mattress inauguration shove along its total budget on podcast ads .
Not ones to catapult clay without offering a solution , here are a few gens for something in the soda giant ’s wheelhouse that are incontrovertibly better :
8 . Melatonin Dew
7 . Pibb Xanaxtra
6 . Snoore - angina
5 . Dozer
4 . Dr. Sleeper
3 . Mountain Dew : Code Dread
2 . A pint of room - temperature vodka
1 . Pepsi Coma
The swallow currently known as Driftwell is slated to score shelves in the first quarter of 2021 , accord to PepsiCo , so it ’s not too late to pick a different , better name .
PEPSI
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