Hey Giz —
Last weekend I drink like eight john of Four Loko at a company and got hammer . I do n’t really remember , but I must ’ve grabbed a couple Xbox games from the apartment that was hosting the party because I woke up with my clothes on with Two Worlds and Leisure Suit Larry : Box Office Bust shoved down my pants . Do I pass the game and risk ruining this friendship or just pretend it never happened ?
Thanks ,
Too Loco
Uh , Loco ,
This is a case for the ol’ pro - and - con lean :
Situation 1 : You return the game .
Pros
• Clean - ish conscience
• You are rid of two stinking games
Cons
• Earn a repp for being a drunk stealer
• Admit that , in your true state of being ( in wine veritas , dude ) , you stole the most losery game it could ever be possible to steal .
• Remind your friends that they own the two most losery game this side of Oblivion .
post 2 : You Keep Quiet
• Ohio WHO EVEN CARES ? ARE YOU REALLY disposed TO ADMIT THAT YOU slip TWO WORLDS AND LEISURE SUIT LARRY ?
Seriously , Hoss , just throw that bull down a violent storm enfeeble and do n’t look back . You have bigger thing to worry about . Namely , that you drank eight cans of Four Loko .
Do you have any approximation what ’s in that stuff ? It ’s like pounding an RBV and then snorting the runoff from a atomic power plant . It ’s so jam-packed with caffeine , taurine , guarana , that it ’s a miracle you even fell asleep to wake up and find out the two bad Xbox titles in history shoved down your freaking pant . Really man , we ’d be more apprehensive about having strangle someone on the way home than jacklight a couple 360 game . Have you checked local news show stories for report of a crazed serviceman roaming around , humping a transcript of Red Dead Redemption ?
Dear Gizmodo —
I do n’t really bed how to say this so I ’ll just say it : my girlfriend and I wanna make a sextape . We ’ve never done that before , and we do n’t desire to spend too much money , but we desire the last merchandise to count ok . What variety of gear do we require ?
revalue it ,
tv camera Shy
Shy ! No want to be shy . We could n’t be more thrilled with your decision . There is absolutely no way this will finish up onGiganewsin 90 days . No hypothesis at all . Very secure place , this brassbound Internet .
Now , even though NOBODY ELSE WILL EVER SEE THIS , you ’re going to want to make yourselves look as attractive as possible . You know , for memories and material — not at all because we fully carry to be stream this off YouPorn in 58 days or anything . So yeah , attractive . You know who knows attractive ? The hotshot of entanglement video atGawker . TV .
They say that the most important thing when shoot a low budget sex tape is lighting . uncollectible kindling will make even the hottest people look horrible . The masters of streaming cinema urge acheap $ 600 3 light box seat light kit , to diffuse the abrasive lighting that create tough shadows and makes your cutis look like peeled - bacon - colored charge card .
Too expensive ? film in your lavatory , where copious electric-light bulb , shiny surfaces , and mirrors will provide a nice even glow . If you do n’t already have a camera , you’re able to keep it comparatively cheap and still get a nice 720p - is - for - porn figure with a4 GB Flip UltraHD . But do NOT expend that smartphone : the risk of circumstantially uploading to YouTube is n’t deserving the contrivance . Hello , mom ! So , dear of luck you two , and , if you ’d like to run a rough cut past us , you ’ve got the email reference .
Hi Giz —
I finally broke down and tried out on-line dating . I put a lot of work into ensure my profile ruminate who I am , but I was really nervous about privacy stuff so I used someone else ’s moving picture ( really dumb I recognise ) . Now I ’ve been talk with this guy online for a while and he wants to meet ! Help , I do n’t know what to do !
Please help ,
OK Stupid
Okay , OK .
Congratulations . You ’re the rationality a lot of the great unwashed skip that aspect . But we ’re not your mom , and we ’re not going to trounce you for tainting what ’s otherwise a pretty decent fashion to effortlessly flirt and maybe have sexual activity with a stranger . Seriously , though , you ’ve poke yourself into a mysterious and lonely hollow here .
If you two are getting along as well as you say you are — talking about your favourite Jack Johnson albums or whatever — then you have to come uninfected . Who ’s to say you ’re even uncollectible looking ? mayhap he was n’t super physically draw in to the old photo anyway and was just pursuing the conversation because you two snap . The “ I ’ve lied to you about an enormous aspect of who I am ” matter might take some getting used to , yeah . But reckon it your first test as a couple . If he can forgive you for that , you two are place .
Actually , who are we kidding . You have two options : pursue a family relationship ground on furred conventionality and cosplay dates until you two are insanely in passion with each other ’s sick perversions , or cook a terrible railway car accident . Show up with patch around your face , and then , in a few month , unwrap the gauze and be amazed that your grimace come out attend whole normal — if wholly dissimilar . Wanna really sell it ? Hire an player to puzzle as a doctor and rent out a medical federal agency . Invite him to come with you when you “ see your face for the first time . ” Can you cry on program line ?
What ’s that ? Too elaborate ? Sociopathological ? We thought you were in love !
If you have a question that only Gizmodo can resolve , well , that blow . But at least you may e-mail us:[email protect ] . We ’ll address three questions every Wednesday .
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