15 Things I Would Like to Smash With Baseball’s Stupid Selfie Bat

Here is a thing that exists in the world : TheSnapBat , a baseball bat that is also a selfie stick . Goddammit .

Though it’sapparently been aroundsince this summer , the SnapBat set down in the spotlight once again today after Snapchatannouncedit would be partner with Major League Baseball to give fan an “ inside look”at Spring Training , which is basically a lot of exhibition games dally for the express intention of making sure your expensive star does n’t show up to drill fat andout of form .

The highlighting of this partnership will reportedly require a lot of Snapchat stories from players who will finally be able to make for their phones with them into the dugout . Amongst other things , they ’ll be advance to take selfies with — you guess it — the SnapBat .

Argentina’s President Javier Milei (left) and Robert F. Kennedy Jr., holding a chainsaw in a photo posted to Kennedy’s X account on May 27. 2025.

Wow , I really ca n’t wait for this ! Just kidding , it voice awful . The thought of bringing dugout action — which can often bequite fun — to rooter is actually sort of nerveless , but any agitation quickly dissipates once the SnapBat recruit the pictorial matter . Seriously , though , you guys lookdumb .

Anyway , here ’s a tilt of thing I ’d much rather smash with a SnapBat rather .

1. Regular selfie sticks

A few yr ago I was walking across the Brooklyn Bridge and envision my first selfie stick in the wild . It was a dingy moment , but it reinforced my confidence in my own self - mastery because I did n’t immediately rip it out of the hands of its owner and launch it into the traffic whizzing by below .

2. A Large Donald Trump Piñata

And it would onlyset you back$79 !

3. Bubble wrap

Who says everything on this tilt has to be bad ? Smashing layers of house of cards wrap would be profoundly sanative .

4. An overpriced ballpark hotdog

I do not desire to pay$5for a nitty-gritty tube of unknown origins .

5. Minions

I mean .

6. Culottes

I bear a permanent psychological scar from the time in center school I endeavor to make them work . They did n’t , and they never will .

7. My wireless router

Sometimes it just stops working for no grounds , and then I have to spend 20 minutes dicking around with it and turning the knob in on the dot the ripe way , and then an hour afterwards it decides to take another coffee recess . GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER , ROUTER .

8. Keurig machines

They use java pods , andcoffee seedpod are bad .

9. Bacardi Razz bottles

Thanks to a really bad experience with Bacardi Razz at the old age of 16 , the heap of Bacardi Razz bottles makes me break out in a cold sweat . I would care to eradicate them from the face of the major planet .